Have you shunned the black flame for fear of your livelihood?

i almost consider every single thing.maybe since they say its all make believe than maybe we can consider everything,to know . the whole transcending or whatever i learn from all sorts of things . every belief gives glimpses to something what it is ,is cloudy.this leader stuff is getting too something. i want to know badly,what is happening, what they are doing.is that bad? do you think we shouldn't never speak of this? why should we hide it? sorry if improper questions. don't need to answer if you don't wish.