How to castrate ones self?

You say this is out of curiosity, so I'll speak strictly hypothetically. One would make sure they are in the company of a close friend and trusted ally. One would, before making the incision, get high off of marijuana (one would need a lot, however,) heroin, or opium. This would numb the pain. With the knife, one would start at the base of the underside of the penis, and begin sawing away until one reaches the other end. There will be a great deal of blood - one must be sure this does not get on furniture. Next, one would have their friend take a soldering iron and solder the wound shut. Clean up excess blood, and there's one more step. With a sledge hammer, one would pulverize the testicles that once gave one so much pain and testosterone, and consume the resultant paste, likely in a smoothie or other such liquid.